Lost another finger at the factory? Macrospora in the rations again? Don’t have the bankroll to join an insurance cult? DON’T WORRY! Your closest OMEGACORP GENERAL REVITALIZER & ELECTROCOAGULATOR — or OGRE, for short — is located at [ENTER PATIENT LOCATION TO POPULATE]. Just look for the big green box, pay up, and step in!
Quality of care relies on YOU! How much treatment do you need? $1,000? $2,500? $10,000? STRAPPED FOR CASH? Get strapped down and enjoy half-off all treatments when you sign our Calibration Contract! Survival not guaranteed.
Need meds without all the mess? NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY! Scan your government-issued ID, birth certificate, credit report, thumb print, medical records, and free-walking permit at the chute to try your luck! Prizes from bupropranalol to strychnine to GLP-X — which will heal YOU?
OMEGACORP LOVES SPOOKY SEASON! All Death is 13% off through October! Offer not valid on Painless or Instant packages.
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