You, rifling there. You don’t want that old thing. My ex-wife is in that photo. Even the frame is cheap. One crude relic could never portray me. Definitely not! It would take an entire castle to preserve my legacy! Or at least a three bed two bath with cathedral ceilings.
Where are you going?
No, take a left down the hall. That’s where I kept the good shit. The pen the astronauts used. The expensive desk. The Hume and Kant and Dickens. From college—ivy, by the way.
Wait.
Where are you going?
Upstairs? Well, that’s alright. That’s where I gave my children life. And kept my tie collection! All designer, you know. The suits, too. I replace them every year. Always modern!
Oh. On your way out already? Stop in the garage. There’s a Mercedes in there. Two, actually. Brand new.
Where are you going?
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